How Does a Trust Recession Change the Way People Buy?

I went to a podcast summit expecting to talk about podcasting.

Instead, a room full of business owners basically ended up in group therapy.

As we started talking about what’s happening in our businesses, a common struggle emerged:

People aren’t buying the way they used to.

Sales cycles feel longer. Marketing feels harder. Audiences are skeptical. Even business owners with genuinely good services are struggling to get people to take that next step.

And the more we talked, the more I realized:

We aren't just dealing with a sales problem. We're dealing with a trust recession.

Think about how many institutions we’ve learned not to trust.

We don't trust politicians, corporations, or Hollywood. We question influencers, experts, social media. Even spaces that once felt educational can leave us wondering, "Wait, is this actually information, or is somebody about to sell me something?"

Open almost any social media platform and you're bombarded with advertising. Someone wants your click, your email address, your subscription, your money or your attention.

And unfortunately, businesses have gotten very, very good at understanding human psychology.

I say that as a therapist.

Psychology was supposed to help us understand people so we could help them. But many of the same principles we use to understand human behavior have also been incorporated into advertising, technology, sales and marketing to figure out exactly what makes people click and buy.

• Scarcity.

• Urgency.

• Fear.

• Social proof.

• Pain points.

• FOMO.

We've learned how to identify people's vulnerabilities and then sell directly into them.

And consumers have noticed.

People have bought things at midnight when they were lonely, scared, insecure or overwhelmed. They've clicked the countdown timer. They've bought the course that promised to change everything. They've signed up because there were supposedly only three spots left. They've discovered that the "limited-time offer" was available again two weeks later.

Enough short-term sales tactics eventually create a long-term consequence:

People stop trusting the seller.

And when enough sellers do it, people start distrusting selling itself.

Your Customer Has a Nervous System

This is where my worlds collided in a way I didn't expect.

I'm a sex therapist who also teaches business owners about the human nervous system. And during this podcast summit, I realized that one of the consent exercises I teach around sexuality might actually explain what's happening in sales better than most sales strategies I've encountered.

In my book It's Not a Bomb! It's Just Sex, I teach a simple concept called Yes, No, Maybe.

Consent isn't simply intellectual. Our bodies give us information, too.

A "YES" often feels like movement toward something: curiosity, excitement, openness, energy.

A "NO" can feel like movement away: tension, withdrawal, resistance, shutting down.

And then there's "MAYBE." "Maybe" is incredibly important because "maybe" isn't necessarily rejection.

"MAYBE" means: I need more information.

So I decided to play Yes, No, Maybe with a room full of business owners.

I gave them different scenarios and asked them not to overthink their answers. Instead, I asked them to notice what happened inside their bodies.

For example: "Would you go on a podcast with 100,000 listeners?"

Yes, no or maybe?

It was fascinating watching people's bodies respond. Some people physically leaned forward. Others leaned backward. Some sat somewhere in the middle.

Then I asked the "maybe" people a question that completely changes the conversation:

"What would make this more of a yes? And what would make this more of a no?"

Suddenly, they could tell me exactly what they needed.

One person explained that appearing on a huge podcast might become more of a yes if they knew the questions beforehand and maybe even had a therapy session before going on.

Fair enough.

Then we tried something completely ridiculous.

"What if I put a spider on your shoulder?"

Yes, no or maybe?

One person landed on maybe.

So I asked again: "What would make it more of a yes?"

His answer was essentially, "If I got to know the spider and knew it was safe."

Everyone laughed.

But think about what he had just told us.

"I need familiarity. I need information. I need evidence of safety. Then I might be willing to move closer."

Sound familiar?

That's sales.

Maybe Isn't an Objection to Overcome

Traditional sales training often teaches us to hear hesitation and immediately figure out how to overcome it.

• Handle the objection.

• Create urgency.

• Close the deal.

• Get them over the line.

But what if we stopped treating someone's hesitation as something we need to defeat?

• What if we got curious instead?

• What would make this more of a yes?

• What would make this more of a no?

That's a completely different relationship between buyer and seller.

If someone tells you, "I'd need to understand exactly what happens after I sign up," you just learned something important.

If someone says, "I'd need to see evidence that this actually works," that's useful information.

If someone says, "I need to know you better before I'd spend that kind of money," that's useful information, too.

And sometimes the answer will be, "Nothing would make this a yes."

Great.

That's a no.

Respect it.

Because if we're actually trying to rebuild trust, respecting someone's no may be just as important as earning someone's yes.

We Don't Need Better Tricks. We Need Longer Trust.

The irony of this entire conversation wasn't lost on me.

I went to a podcasting event and ended up teaching business owners a sex education skill about consent to help them understand sales.

But maybe that's exactly what business needs right now. Because our customers aren't conversion rates.

They're humans.

And humans have nervous systems.

If consumers have spent years being manipulated, pressured, disappointed and sold promises that didn't deliver, it makes perfect sense that their nervous systems would become more cautious.

That doesn't mean nobody wants what you're selling. It may mean their nervous system needs more time to determine whether you're safe. They might need to hear you speak, read your work, listen to your podcast, watch how you respond when someone disagrees with you, see whether your promises match your results, watch whether you're still around six months from now.

They may need multiple experiences with you before their body finally moves from:

"I don't know."

to

"Maybe."

to

"Okay. I trust you."

And that's frustrating when you're a business owner who genuinely needs to make money.

But the solution to a trust recession probably isn't more pressure.

It's more trust.

Maybe the Future of Sales Looks More Like Consent

I don't think selling is inherently bad.

I don't think marketing is inherently manipulative.

Good businesses need to make money. People deserve to be paid for solving real problems. And consumers genuinely benefit from buying things that improve their lives.

But perhaps we need to rethink the relationship.

Instead of asking: "How do I get them to say yes?"

Maybe the better question is: "What does this person need in order to determine whether this is a yes, a no or a maybe for them?"

That subtle shift changes everything:

• It replaces pressure with curiosity.

• It replaces manipulation with information.

• It replaces urgency with safety.

• And perhaps most importantly, it gives the buyer back their agency.

We're living through a trust recession.

Business owners feel it.

Consumers feel it.

Our nervous systems feel it.

And rebuilding that trust isn't going to happen through another funnel, another psychological trick or another countdown timer.

It happens one interaction at a time.

One kept promise at a time.

One respected no at a time.

And one genuine yes at a time.

Funny enough, maybe sex education has something to teach us about business after all.

---