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Back Pain? Don't Cancel Sex - Try This


When Back Pain Crashes Your Sex Life (And What to Do About It)

Let’s be real—bodies change. And sometimes, they change in ways that make sex… complicated.

One of the most common issues I hear from clients? Back pain.

Whether it’s degenerative disc issues, a herniated disc, past injuries, or just the natural wear and tear of being a human in a body—your back might not cooperate the way it used to. And when that happens, sex can go from fun to frustrating real fast.

But here’s the good news: back pain doesn’t mean the end of a satisfying sex life. It just means it’s time to get a little more creative.


Your Body Isn’t Broken—It Just Needs Support

In my Sex Positions segment on the Open Bedroom Doors Show, I talk a lot about one simple game-changer: pillows.

Seriously. Pillows are underrated.

Using pillows to support your hips, lower back, or knees can take pressure off sensitive areas and help your body relax into the experience. Small adjustments can make a huge difference in comfort—and comfort is what allows pleasure to actually happen.

Because if your body is in pain, it’s not exactly in the mood to play.

The Real Secret? Talk About It

Here’s where a lot of couples get stuck.

They feel the pain… but they don’t say anything.

Maybe they don’t want to ruin the moment. Maybe they feel embarrassed. Maybe they think they’re supposed to just “push through it.”

But pushing through pain is not sexy—it’s disconnecting.

If you’re not talking to your partner, you’re missing the opportunity to collaborate. And great sex—especially as our bodies change—is a team sport.

Talking about things like:

  • “Hey, that position doesn’t feel great on my back”

  • “Can we try something with more support?”

  • “I need to slow this down a bit”

…these aren’t mood killers. They’re actually what create safety, trust, and better sex.

Expand Your Definition of Sex

Another big shift? Let go of the idea that sex has to look one specific way.

A lot of people default to penis-in-vagina sex as the “main event”—but for many bodies, that can also be the most physically demanding.

So instead of forcing your body into something that hurts, ask:

  • What does feel good right now?

  • What kind of touch feels nourishing instead of stressful?

This might look like:

  • Oral sex

  • Massage

  • Making out (yes, bring it back)

  • Slower, more intentional touch

  • Playful, low-pressure intimacy

When you give yourselves permission to vary your intimacy, you actually open the door to more connection—not less.

This Is What Adapting Looks Like

Back pain isn’t a failure. It’s feedback.

Your body is asking you to listen, adjust, and work with it instead of against it.

And honestly? This is where some of the best sex lives begin—because you’re no longer on autopilot. You’re intentional. You’re communicating. You’re exploring.

That’s where the magic is.

Want to See This in Action?

If you want to see how I break this down (with actual demos and ideas), check out the Open Bedroom Doors Show on YouTube:👉 youtube.com/@OpenBedroomDoors

Your sex life doesn’t end when your body changes—it evolves.

So grab a pillow, start the conversation, and let’s open the door to something that actually works for you.

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