The CEO Identity Crisis Nobody Talks About: A Journey in Leadership

The other night, I found myself doing something I never expected. I was asking ChatGPT to help me sound more like a CEO. Yes, really!

I've owned a business since 2012. I've built a nationally recognized brand. I've won a national industry award. I've created books, courses, speeches, frameworks, podcasts, television content, and intellectual property. I've spent years helping other people build confidence, relationships, businesses, and lives that are built to last.

Throughout this year, I've hired 11 people. Some are seasonal. Some are contractors. Some are strategic partners. Others help with:

• media,

• marketing,

• bookkeeping,

• accounting,

• publishing,

• graphic design,

• intellectual property,

• and day-to-day operations.

And yet there I was asking AI: "What language do I need to use to fully lean into the fact that I'm a CEO?"

The irony wasn't lost on me. How can someone who has spent years leading still need reassurance that she's a leader?

Then it hit me.

This might actually be one of the most universal experiences of business ownership. 

We spend years climbing the mountain. Then one day we look around and realize we've arrived somewhere meaningful. And instead of celebrating, we ask: "Wait... am I actually here?"

The Unexpected Power of Post-Traumatic Growth on Leadership

For the last three years, I've been rebuilding my identity. The therapy world changed dramatically. Marketing changed. Technology changed. The economy changed. The way people consume information changed. At times, it felt like the entire landscape beneath my business was shifting.

There were moments when it felt like everything I'd built might disappear. Instead, the unexpected happened. Instead of breaking me, those years transformed me.

Post-traumatic growth is a psychological term for the idea that struggle doesn't just create resilience. Sometimes it creates wisdom, perspective, and capabilities that didn't exist before.

Looking back, I can see that I learned more about business, leadership, systems, marketing, visibility, intellectual property, and human behavior in those three years than I ever imagined possible.

Every client. Every supervision session. Every mistake. Every success. Every speech. Every relationship. Every risk. They all helped me grow. Because growth is cumulative.

Those three years forced me to integrate everything I'd learned into something bigger. The results became:

• Open Bedroom Doors®.

• the Built to Last Framework.

• a body of work that now extends beyond my therapy office.

My identity has shifted. For years I described myself as a therapist who owned a business. Today, I think the truth is more nuanced. I am:

• a therapist,

• a speaker,

• a creator,

• a leader,

• and yes, a CEO.

The Shift Every Entrepreneur Eventually Faces

What surprised me most about my conversation with ChatGPT wasn't the business advice. It was the reminder that I don't need more proof. I need more ownership.

I am no longer building credibility. I am building leverage.

For years, I was in what I call the "Prove It" phase from my Built to Last business model. Build the framework. Test the ideas. Write the books. Create the content. Earn the trust. Show the results.

But eventually every leader reaches a point where proving has to progress to owning.

You stop asking: "Can I do this?" And start asking: "How do I scale what I've already built?"

You stop asking: "Am I qualified?" And start asking: "How can I help more people with what I already know?"

You stop asking: "Am I a CEO?" And start asking: "What kind of CEO do I want to become?"

Owning Your Success Is Part of the Journey

The funny thing is, I suspect many business owners are having the same conversation with themselves. Maybe not with ChatGPT. But maybe while driving, or lying awake at night, or staring at a spreadsheet, or after receiving an award, or hiring another team member, or launching something they've worked years to create.

The moment where you realize: "Oh. This is real. I'm actually doing it."

I hope to keep learning, evolving, creating, and expanding. But tonight, I'm allowing myself to acknowledge something I probably should have acknowledged years ago: I didn't accidentally build this. I built it intentionally. One decision at a time. One relationship at a time. One framework at a time. One asset at a time.

And maybe that's what being a CEO really is. Not having all the answers, feeling confident every day, or reaching some magical finish line. But continuing to build something meaningful while learning to own the person you've become along the way.

That's a lesson I'm still learning.

And honestly?

I think that's part of what makes the journey worth taking.