Curious About Adults-Only Resorts? Let’s Talk Beyond the Taboo
Have you ever considered an adults-only resort but wondered what that actually means? Is it simply a vacation without children? What’s the difference between an adults-only resort, a clothing-optional destination, and a lifestyle resort?
And perhaps the biggest question: What am I actually signing up for?
Let’s bring those questions out of the group chat and into an actual conversation.
Join me at Adventure Unknown on December 1 at 6 p.m. for Beyond the Taboo: A Couple’s Guide to Adults Only Resorts. This event is free, and you can RSVP here.
The Questions You Might Feel Awkward Asking
Sometimes people are curious about these vacations but don’t know who to ask. Maybe you’re worried that asking about a lifestyle resort means someone will assume you’re a swinger. Maybe your partner mentioned a clothing-optional vacation, and your first thought was, “Wait. Do I have to eat breakfast naked?”
These are exactly the kinds of questions we want to make room for.
At this event, we’ll explore questions like:
Do you have to be a swinger to go, or can you visit as a monogamous couple?
What’s the difference between adults-only, clothing-optional, nudist, and lifestyle resorts?
Do you have to be naked? How do clothing rules differ between resorts and between specific pools, beaches, restaurants, and other spaces?
Can you enjoy the vacation without participating in sexual activities with other people?
What happens if someone hits on you? How do you politely decline, and what can you do if someone keeps pushing?
How do you communicate that you’re there to relax together rather than meet sexual partners?
What should you expect around alcohol, marijuana, or other drugs? How do you check local laws and resort policies, and handle situations that make you uncomfortable?
Can you enjoy this kind of vacation if you don’t drink?
What are the expectations around consent, privacy, phones, and taking pictures?
What if one partner is excited and the other is nervous?
Can you change your mind about something you thought you wanted to try?
Do you need a certain body type, age, or level of confidence to feel comfortable?
How do you choose a resort that matches your interests and boundaries?
What happens if you get there and realize something isn’t for you?
Resorts have different rules, atmospheres, and expectations. Part of preparing is knowing what to ask before you book, so you can choose an experience that fits you.
Curiosity Is a Conversation Starter
One of the most useful conversations happens before you ever pack a suitcase.
What sounds fun? What feels uncomfortable? Are you looking for quiet time together, adventure, opportunities to meet people, or something else? Can you share a curiosity without your partner hearing it as a commitment?
“I’m curious,” and “I want to book this tomorrow,” are two different conversations.
You should be able to ask a question without accidentally signing yourself up for an experience. Looking into a resort together can be an opportunity to learn more about each other’s interests, boundaries, and expectations.
As a sex and couples therapist, I want couples to have room for those conversations without shame or pressure. One person’s excitement doesn’t obligate the other person to participate. Having different comfort levels gives you something to discuss.
And if someone expresses interest in you, you still get to decide what you want. Attention is not an obligation.
From “This Sounds Awkward” to “I Think I Can Handle This”
A new experience may still feel unfamiliar, even after you’ve done your research. That’s okay. The goal is to help you move from imagining every possible uncomfortable scenario to thinking, “I know what questions to ask. I know how to communicate my boundaries. I think I can handle this.”
And maybe, “I might even have fun.”
We’ll make room for honest questions, useful information, and some laughter. You don’t need to arrive ready to book a trip or try something new. Being curious is enough.
I’m excited to team up with Johanna Ambrosy Schuessler and Adventure Unknown for this conversation. Let’s get beyond the taboo and talk about what you actually want from your next getaway.
Beyond the Taboo: A Couple’s Guide to Adults Only Resorts
December 1 | 6 p.m. | Adventure Unknown | Free
